Donnelly, Katherine: Recovering from the Loss of a Sibling, 1988
An extremely well-written, compassionate guide for the millions of people who come face to face with a death in their own families When a brother or sister dies, surviving siblings often receive little support or recognition of their pain. But their grief is real, and there is a way to recover from it. Through intimate, true stories and interviews with brothers and sisters who have lost a sibling, expert-on-grief Katherine Fair Donnelly provides valuable insight on how to survive this traumatic experience. Recovering from the Loss of a Sibling is the first guide dedicated to those who have lost a brother or sister and presents practical ways they can take the necessary steps toward recovering from their devastating loss.
DeVita Raeburn, Elizabeth: The Empty Room – Understanding Sibling Loss, 2007
Ted is Elizabeth DeVita-Raeburn's older brother, best friend, and the "ringmaster of her days." On a September morning when she is six, she wakes up and Ted is gone. Her parents explain that he went to the hospital for a while. "A while" turns out to be eight years in a plastic bubble, where he dies of a rare autoimmune disease at age seventeen. The Empty Room is DeVita-Raeburn's unflinching, often haunting recollection of life with Ted, woven into a larger exploration of the enormous -- and often unacknowledged -- impact of a sister's or brother's death on remaining siblings. With an inspired blend of life experience, journalistic acumen, and research training, DeVita-Raeburn draws on interviews of more than two hundred survivors to render a powerful portrait of the range of conditions and emotions, from withdrawal to guilt to rage, that attend such loss. Finding little in professional literature, she realizes that those who suffer are the experts. And in the end, it is DeVita-Raeburn and her experts who present a larger, more complex understanding of the sibling bond, the lifelong impact of the severing of that bond, and the tools needed to heal and move forward.
The Empty Room is a fascinating literary hybrid in which Elizabeth DeVita-Raeburn seamlessly fuses deeply affecting remembrance with a pragmatic, lucidly written exploration of the healing journey.
Fanos, Joanna: Sibling Loss, 1996
Despite the rise of clinical interest in posttraumatic stress disorder and traumatic stress in children, there has been little attention paid to the impact of sibling death as a traumatic event. Although there is much evidence that children suffer long-lasting consequences of such trauma as divorce or the loss of a parent, the loss of a sibling has not been the topic of substantial clinical or research attention. The sibling relationship has only begun to receive research and theoretical attention. The complexities of the sibling bond as it changes and evolves over the lifespan have only begun to be explored. The death of a child has generally been considered one of the most stressful events encountered by families in our society. The chronicity of illnesses such as cystic fibrosis is in a sense new, an outgrowth of recent advances in medical treatment which have considerably extended the lives of children stricken with leukemia, cystic fibrosis, HIV-infection, diabetes, and others. This book explores the long-term consequences of chronic illness followed by the death of a sibling on adult adjustment. The illness and loss of the child will have a direct impact on the siblings, dependent upon their own capacity to give meaning to its occurrence and to mourn the loss effectively. In addition, the sibling's world will be inexorably shaped by the handling of the illness and loss by the parents.
Gill White, P: Sibling Grief: Healing After the Death of a Sister or Brother, 2006
P. Gill White, PhD, was only fifteen when her sister Linda made her swear not to tell anyone about the pain she had in her side, fearing it would spoil an upcoming family vacation. Linda died four months later from a rare form of cancer. White and her family never talked about the loss until decades later, when memories began to haunt her. Sibling Grief is White's validation of the emotional significance of sibling loss. She draws on both clinical experience and her own deeply personal experience, along with wisdom from hundreds of bereaved siblings, to explain the five healing tasks unique to sibling grief. White also describes the dream patterns of bereaved siblings, showing how healing is reflected in the dream state. Throughout, she illustrates the long-lasting connection between siblings-a connection that death itself cannot sever.
Wray, TJ: Surviving the Death of a Sibling: Living Through Grief when an Adult Brother or Sister Dies, 2003
When T.J. Wray lost her 43-year-old brother, her grief was deep and enduring and, she soon discovered, not fully acknowledged. Despite the longevity of adult sibling relationships, surviving siblings are often made to feel as if their grief is somehow unwarranted. After all, when an adult sibling dies, he or she often leaves behind parents, a spouse, and even children—all of whom suffer a more socially recognized type of loss. Based on the author's own experiences, as well as those of many others, Surviving the Death of a Sibling helps adults who have lost a brother or sister to realize that they are not alone in their struggle. Just as important, it teaches them to understand the unique stages of their grieving process, offering practical and prescriptive advice for dealing with each stage. In Surviving the Death of a Sibling, T.J. Wray discusses: searching for and finding meaning in your sibling's passing; using a grief journal to record your emotions; choosing a grief partner to help you through tough times and dealing with insensitive remarks made by others. Warm and personal, and a rich source of useful insights and coping strategies, Surviving the Death of a Sibling is a unique addition to the literature of bereavement.